Tantra Massage First-Timers: All You Need to Know
Getting your first tantra massage can be exciting and nerve-wracking and often both at the same time.
There is a quote that I love - “Fear is excitement without breath.” So many questions are probably running through your mind.
How will the session look? How will I feel after?
While I can’t get into any explicit specifics, this article may ease some of your nerves about your first tantra massage.
What Is Tantra Massage?
Here’s my version of:
Tantra Massage Definition
A tantra massage is a massage of the whole body that is intended for spiritual and emotional healing, rather than just physical healing or pleasure.
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Is a tantra massage sexual?
How do you define sexuality? If you are looking for a pleasure-focused experience, you are probably desiring a sensual massage.
I often bridge the two. A question I love to ask is ‘ what percentage would you say is that you are coming looking for healing vs pleasure? ‘ And the answers can range for 100% one way or the other. 90/10… 50/50… 70/30… etc. And being an intuitive being that I am, if you’re not sure your percentage, or if you’re lying to yourself, I’ll likely get a sense of what you’re looking for and make note of it. Regardless of what you say or what I think reading between the lines, I show up to every session with presence and attunement and am happy to shift in one direction or another as the session calls for it.​​
​What is a sacred tantra massage?
Let’s define ‘sacredness.’ Often someone’s only exposure to the word sacred can be from religion. It’s a dedicated time for a special connectedness to God/spirit/Mother Earth/etc. In some traditions and schools of thought and embodiment, our physical bodies are sacred grounds also important to be tended to, worshiped, and loved through intentional cultivation of time. So a sacred tantra massage is a place where we bring this same level of attention, intention, and spiritual connectedness.
There is a lot of neotantra in the world these days. The word tantra comes from traditional roots in India, both Hindu and Buddhist traditions. The term tantra massage has come to sometimes be synonymous with an ‘erotic massage,’ which I would define as focused mostly (if not solely) on pleasure and activating physical sensations. A tantra massage, on the other hand, is designed with energetic, spiritual, and emotional components as the main intentions, whether from a traditional perspective, or a blended experience with roots in both traditional tantric awareness and energetic flow and also modern sensuality.
Benefits of Tantra Massage
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Physically, you can experience stress relief, relaxation, improved circulation, and reduced muscle tension and pain.
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Emotionally, tantra massage can be healing and contribute to a greater capacity for happiness and pleasure, renewed self-confidence, greater productivity, transformation of trauma, and deeper self-love.
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Spiritually, any tantra style massage can move and awaken inner energy, foster mindfulness, and connect your heart, mind, body, sexuality, to each other and the spiritual realm.
Key Elements of Tantra Massage
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The basics of tantra, if you ask me, are this:
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Breath
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Sound
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& Movement
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All these things create consciousness and presence.
​​In a tantra massage, I’ll ask you to breathe deeply and consciously.
To be reminded that every time you hear me breathe, you should take a deep breath and bring your attention and energy back to your breath and your body.
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Touch: touch will be sensual, mindful, and therapeutic.
As ultra-spiritual as it sounds, I move energy with my hands- and so do you, when you move with intention. When a person can truly feel their effect on another, they are moving energy.
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Connection: This is a space for feeling deeply connected to yourself. With me as your guide, you’ll feel connected to me too. Eye contact and presence. A soft smile. A place to bring up anything you are feeling. Fears, joy, pain, ecstasy. A guide to go deeper into your healing (and/or your pleasure).
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Ambience: A tantra massage will be soothing. If it’s about healing trauma, it may also be intense but in the end there should be a long, soft, landing with care.
Candles, music, soothing lighting, soft sheets, and tantra massage oil - which some traditions define as a particular oil, but I don’t. If a particular oil is important to you, you're welcome to request it. Some traditions think certain oils are ‘yin’ or ‘yang.’ I use oil that maintains it’s consistency, absorbs into the skin, and is safe for anywhere on the body.
How Tantra Massage Differs from Traditional Massage
Most traditional massage focuses on muscle relaxation, while tantra massage is focused on spiritual, emotional, and often sexual healing. Tantra massage is connecting with inner energy and the energy of the world, moving stuck energy, and transforming your inner landscape.
In this context, tantra massage practitioners offer holistic experiences connecting your body, mind, spirituality, and sexuality through intimacy, connection and heart-felt healing.
Myths and Misconceptions About Tantra Massage
Myth #1: Tantra Massage is purely sexual and the same as an erotic massage
False: Tantra massage is a spiritual practice, focused on healing, though you will probably enjoy yourself as well. If you are interested in a professional, heartfelt pleasure-focused experience, you are probably looking for a sensual massage. No biggie, I offer that too.
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Myth #2: I have to be open to genital touch to receive a tantra massage
False: You do not need to be open to genital touch to receive a tantra massage. This is a healing-oriented experience that takes into account your desires and comfort-level.
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Myth #3: Tantra massage is mostly traditional breathing practices and yoga.
False: While a tantra massage with other practitioners could be this, this is not my style. If you’d like to do breathwork in session, we can use it as a tool to move energy. I don’t offer yoga poses in session. A tantra massage with me includes bodywork on the whole body (unless you have boundaries otherwise), meditation, emotional inquiry, and energetic flow.
Being able to be held in mindful touch is a profound experience to create deeper healing from shame, fear of intimacy, or fear of stepping into your power in the world. Feeling collapsed in our internal energies radiates into everything we do, our openness to life, the lives we touch in our work. When we learn to open ourselves up to receiving love, pleasure, and intimacy, we transform our impacts on everything, our relationships, our clients, our team, our family, and ourselves.
If you’re interested in experiencing your first tantra massage with me, please take a look at the Information and Offerings pages on my site to learn more.
Are you interested in getting a tantra massage by me?
You can go to my Offerings page to find my sensual and tantra massage rates.
All details regarding the steps to setting up an appointment, screening, deposit and cancellation policies are on the Information page.
Ready for a great experience?
You can apply below to book a session together.
It usually takes 2-7 days to schedule our first appointment.
Bring a little heart into your booking form, vulnerability and authenticity go a long way. Whether you’re fresh out of a relationship, have an incredibly busy work life, or are interested in learning something new, sensual massage could be the perfect bridge for your heart, body, and soul.
